Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
Randomize
