watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
