Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Randomize
