jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
i think im in europe. pls send help
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Randomize
