just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
