when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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