The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Me too!
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
