Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Randomize
