Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
The beer is more important than you right now.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
