I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
My Sexting was not on an AP level
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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