My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Randomize
