we're blogging at a bar
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
We named our party play list daddy issues
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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