Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
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