Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
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