Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
