mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
