I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
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