I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
