It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
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Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
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I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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