I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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