Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
