I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
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