Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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