ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
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