I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
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His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
There r osticjed everywhere
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
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Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
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