K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
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