Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
And the cops told us we were all naked.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
