Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
Randomize
