We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
