I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
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