Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
There's always time for handjobs
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
you never un-have a 4some
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
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