if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You took a bar mat shot.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
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