There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
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