garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
