You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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