mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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