Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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