i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Randomize
