I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
Randomize
