I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
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Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
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His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
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