btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
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