at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
