I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
Randomize
