If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
Will exercising make me less horny?