what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize
