dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
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still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
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I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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