grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
Randomize
