I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
You can't just leave with hair like that
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Randomize
