The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
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