We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
Randomize
