Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
I have already put on my inside pants.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Randomize
