we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Randomize
