My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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