i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
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And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Can I color on your dick again?
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
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