hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
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