The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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