I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
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