Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
Randomize
