So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
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