I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Randomize
