Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
Randomize
