yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
