Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.
Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
pray to the hookup gods
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
