my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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